Abhorsen and the Other Mother

Recently, I finished the Abhorsen trilogy by Garth Nix (Sabriel, Lirael, and Abhorsen). It is a brilliant series (which everyone should read), and he is a great writer.

In the beginning of Abhorsen, there is a passage where Nix describes the armor that Lirael puts on. Rather than the typical, boring, step-by-step recitation I’ve encountered in other fantasy novels, it is an interesting description that created the true feeling of putting on the armor. I could feel the weight of each article as if I were putting them on myself. The passage doesn’t describe that many pieces of equipment, but because Nix took his time with each, it feels like each one is important, and we know exactly why.

This passage is more than just beautiful description; it demonstrates an important thing for writers to learn: choosing the right place for description is crucial, and this passage is carefully placed.

It is near the beginning of the book, so we don’t have the opportunity to imagine whatever we will in place of what she’s actually wearing. It is in a situation where Lirael is taking her time and thinking about what she’s doing. Her contemplation translates into the narrative, allowing for the slower pace. In the wrong place, a passage like this one could be like running into a brick wall, like having a period where a semi-colon should be (sorry; I’m a grammar geek). But where it is, it’s amazing.

Another problem with description placement that comes up frequently is not having enough detail where it is needed. Some people write as little description as possible in order to let their reader “fill it in” themselves. But that’s just as bad as the brick wall. Instead of seeing a fleshed out world, readers find themselves in a blank slate akin to the world that the “Other Mother” inhabits in Coraline.

Beyond the boundaries of the Other Mother’s garden, the world is white and empty. Coraline walks only a short distance before coming back to the house she had left behind her. An under-described world feels like that blank space. The characters are walking through nothingness. It’s even worse if the characters aren’t properly described—how can I understand a story when I don’t even know what the character looks like?

Description has to have balance. In fast-paced scenes, there probably won’t be much or we’ll hit that brick wall. In slower ones, you can put in a lot more, and if you don’t, you’ll end up with the Other Mother.